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I can’t remember if I woke up in your bed. It was the good times, after we were living apart but still sleeping together sometimes. Love without attachment.

But no matter where I woke up that day, soon enough we were together. Getting ready for the party.

It was four days after we’d made the cake for someone else’s birthday. It was just fun, and beyond funny for the three of us who made it, and attempted to deliver it. The kitchen still needed some cleaning from that.

The rest of the apartment wasn’t too bad, but we set to work. You and I were always clean together, and my roommate was clean too, so there wasn’t much to do. There was a little decoration, not much. Some finger food.

Then the important part. Rolling joints. Many many skinny party joints. We were pretty good at it by then. We worked diligently and filled up my perfect blue canister.

I had hours to get dressed and relax. And you did too. You looked so fine.

I asked my family to come early. My parents, my grandmother, my brothers. One brother’s girlfriend. Some people who had to leave early, I think that’s when the one I call the love of my life came, I don’t remember him later in the night. We were clearheaded, no weed, no booze. My dad and grandmother liked you, and you were great with them, while I was distracted.

The other guests started to filter in, and that was a sign for the family to go. They did, with no complaint.

My mentor came, bearing patchouli. I put it aside and never opened it. Trevor. Trish. Eventually, The Asshole and Jim. Probably not Joe. Kuff, maybe. MJ, were you there? It seems like you would have been. Neighbors. One night stands. Old friends, new. Gifts piled up. The room was getting packed.

The pheromones alone would have been enough for the best buzz. But you’d lit a party joint for me too. Enough so I didn’t look up for a while. When I did, everyone in the room had a joint in their fingers, smoking or holding.

You knew them all. You knew who the lovers were, the wishful, the never would bes. You’d had me for yourself for a while, and then you let me go to be who I was. But we were still together, in the midst of all of them, and that night the arms I slept in were yours.

That was one of the best nights of my life. From beginning to end, with you.